White Torture
by Emtheunicorn
Summary: "Lucas, the year is 2138, you are in Terra Nova Psychiatric Hospital. There is no colony and no portal." Lucas wakes up after being shot to discover that he is in a mental asylum. Caught between two painful realities he is trapped in his mind. AU


So this is a little idea that I came up with yesterday and had to write. It's quite dark and confusing but it's meant to be like in Lucas' mind. Anyway, I would love to know what you all think.

Disclaimer: I don't own Terra Nova or any of the characters.

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_Lucas felt the first bullet enter his chest. He stumbled backwards for a few steps before looking up to see Skye standing there. His eyes well full of shock which turned to rage as he stepped forwards, knife in hand, ready to finish his father off. Skye pulled the trigger again, sending Lucas stumbling backwards as the bullet entered his chest. The last thing he saw was Skye's face, her expression a mixture of shock and regret before he hit the ground and everything went black._

"So tell me Lucas, why did you try to kill your father?" came a male voice, startling Lucas, causing his eyes to shoot open. Lucas gasped as he looked around. He was in a room lined with bookshelves. The air was heavily filtered, Lucas was unused to it after the fresh air in the jungle. The bland colours were a contrast to the greens he was used to. Everything was white. He looked across the desk in front of him to see a man in a white coat. He looked over at Lucas, his face full of concern.

"Where am I?" Lucas asked, glancing around frantically. "What am I doing here?"

"We're in my office Lucas," the man replied calmly. "We meet three times a week, to talk." Lucas was no clearer on the situation. He was in a shrink's office, that much was clear but that didn't explain how he had gotten there or why he wasn't lying dead in the jungle with two bullets in his chest.

"Perhaps we should continue this another time," the man suggested, pressing a button on his phone and muttering something into it. Almost immediately the door opened and two men in white coats walked in. They walked over to Lucas and grabbed his arms, pulling him to his feet. As they led him towards the door Lucas caught a glance of a calendar handing on the wall. It read October 2138. Lucas began to panic, wondering where he was.

Lucas struggled against the grip that the two men had on him. He tried to pull his arms away yet found that his hands were handcuffed together. The men ignored his struggles and continued to walk him down the halls. Everything was white, too white. The walls were white, the floor was white, the roof was white, the men's coats were white. It was all too white. Then Lucas caught a glimpse of black, it was a sign. 'Terra Nova Psychiatric Hospital' was written on it. The words 'Terra Nova' caught Lucas' attention. He tried to turn around, to get another glimpse at the sign as he was led past it but the men continued walking, pulling Lucas with them. Lucas struggled against them, trying desperately to free himself. He needed to get a better look at that sign. He had almost managed to free himself when she felt a sharp prick on his arm and then everything faded to black.

_Skye leaned over Lucas as the blood seeped out of his bullet wounds. Lucas gasped for breath as Skye placed a gentle hand on his chest to calm him. Lucas looked up, seeing the green of the trees above him. _

"_Luca. Lucas," Skye called, repeating his name over and over again. Her voice seemed to get softer and softer, almost as if it was fading away. _

"Lucas!" Lucas' eyes shot open at the sound of Skye's voice, it was much louder this time.

"Bucket," he gasped as he gazed at the sight of Skye standing above him in a white coat. Everything was white again, much too white.

"Doctor Shannon, he's awake," she called before turning to walk away.

"Bucket wait," Lucas called, trying to reach out to her but he found that he was handcuffed to the bed.

"Shh," Doctor Shannon soothed as she walked over to Lucas. As she leaned over him Lucas caught sight of her name tag. Dr Elizabeth Shannon. Terra Nova Psychiatric Hospital. It was that name again, Terra Nova. Lucas struggled against his bonds. He screamed out of frustration, desperate for answers.

"Lucas, calm down," came Doctor Shannon's voice but Lucas wasn't going to calm down. He wanted to know what this was all about. He continued to struggle before he felt another prick in his arm and once again everything faded to black.

_Lucas looked around the room, noticing that he was in the brig, handcuffed to a chair. Jim Shannon stood in front of him, taser in hand. It was exactly like the last time they had been in the brig together yet this time the roles were reversed, Jim was the one in charge this time, Lucas was the prisoner. _

"_What am I doing here?" Lucas asked. _

"_Well you stabbed your father before getting shot and brought back here by Skye. Any of that ring a bell?" Jim reminded harshly. _

"_Is he dead?" Lucas asked hopefully. _

"_No he isn't, you bastard," Jim answered, turning around and leaning over Lucas, placing one hand on each arm of his chair, glaring at him. Lucas glared back, maintaining eye contact, not willing to show any weakness. _

"_What. A. Shame." Lucas replied almost comically, slowly emphasising each word. Anger flashed across Jim's face for a second then Lucas was screaming, yelling in pain as Jim electrocuted him. It was payback for the last time they were there. _

_Jim turned around and stepped away, taking a moment to compose himself, reminding himself not to lose himself in the process of interrogating Lucas. That's what it was, an interrogation, but to Lucas it seemed more like torture, payback for when the Phoenix group took over Terra Nova. _

"_You know stabbing your father isn't a good way to get his forgiveness," Jim announced, almost casually, as he turned back around to face Lucas. _

"_I don't want his forgiveness," Lucas explained. "I just want him dead." _

"Any why is it that you want your father dead?" Lucas glanced around, noticing that he was back in the room with the bookshelves. The same man sat across from him. Lucas looked at the desk noticing that there was a nameplate there.

Dr. Jim Shannon  
Psychiatrist  
Terra Nova Psychiatric Hospital.

It was that name again. Lucas looked up to see Jim sitting in front of him.

"Where am I?" Lucas asked, ignoring Jim's question.

"You're in Terra Nova," Jim replied patiently.

"No I'm not, this isn't Terra Nova, this is a mental asylum," Lucas answered hurriedly, glancing around him, observing his surroundings. "Terra Nova is my father's colony, 85 million years in the past, through the portal."

"Lucas," Jim began slowly."The year is 2138, you are in Terra Nova Psychiatric Hospital. There is no colony and no portal."

"No," Lucas gasped. "I was there. I went there on the second pilgrimage. I lived there, my father banished me. I lived in the jungle for five years. I fixed the portal so it went both ways. Then my employers sent through the Phoenix group. They came and took over Terra Nova."

"Lucas you didn't live in the jungle for five years, you're fourteen." Jim replied. Lucas gasped, hardly believing what he was hearing.

"No," I'm twenty five," Lucas argued. Jim shook his head and pulled a small mirror from behind his desk, holding it up for him to see. Lucas gasped as he saw his fourteen year old self looking back at him. He turned his head, noticing that his two scars from the nykoraptor were noticeably absent.

"No," Lucas murmured. "No, it can't be."

"I think that might be enough for today," Jim murmured, sensing that Lucas was overwhelmed. Jim stood and walked over to the door before opening it. "Wash can you take him back to his room." Lucas gasped as Alicia Washington entered the room.

"You," Lucas gasped. "You're supposed to be dead, I killed you." Confusion flickered across Jim and Wash's faced. "I shot you," Lucas continued. "You're dead."

Lucas tried to get up but was stopped by the handcuffs which held him to the chair. Lucas saw Jim reach into his desk for something. Lucas began to panic, thinking he was going to get electrocuted again. He struggled and shouted, trying to free himself. His eyes darted around, looking up at the white ceiling, the lack of colour causing his panic to escalade. Soon he felt the now familiar sharp prick on his arm and a calm spreading through his veins before he was engulfed by the blackness.

_Lucas looked up from where he sat in the brig to see Skye entering the room. His body was exhausted after being repeatedly electrocuted. His mind was tired too, confused from its constantly changing state._

"_I'm sorry," Skye murmured as she walked over to him. "Bringing you here was the only way that I could keep you alive." By this time Skye had walked across the room and was now leaning over Lucas, her face inches from his. "I'm sorry," she repeated before closing the gap and capturing his lips in a searing kiss. Lucas kissed back eagerly, revelling in the sensations of Skye, her lips, her scent, her touch._

Lucas opened his eyes to find that he was back in one of the white rooms. He looked up to see Skye leaning over him, fixing something by his bed. She went to move back but paused, looking into Lucas' eyes. Lucas couldn't stop himself from reaching out and pressing his lips to hers. He instantly felt hands against his chest, pushing him back to the bed then Skye was ripped from him. Elizabeth rushed into the room, going over to where Skye was now standing in the corner, shock evident on her face.

"I don't know what happened, he just kissed me out of the blue," Skye said, looking over at Lucas almost fearfully.

"Bucket!" Lucas called from where he lay. "Bucket!"

"Why is he calling me that?" Skye whispered to Elizabeth who hastily ushered her out of the room. Lucas kept calling for her until his voice was coarse before he felt the familiar calm flow through his veins, taking him back to the blackness.

_"I'm sorry Lucas, I never mean to hurt you," Skye murmured as she walked to the door of the brig. "I love you." _

"So tell me about Skye," Jim said as he sat back in his chair, looking across the desk at Lucas.

"She loves me," Lucas muttered.

"Are you still dreaming about her?" Jim questioned.

"They're not dreams, it happened, she loves me," replied Lucas, convinced that what he was saying was true. "I saw her, here."

"Lucas sometimes when we are missing someone in our live, or we experience emotional trauma our mind comes up with a person, a friend,"

"She's real," Lucas interrupted, his eyes widening as he nodded, needing to prove that Skye was real. "Bucket is real, she loves me."

"Yes," Jim agreed, almost as if he was talking to a child. "They seem real to us but they're not actually..."

"She's real, she's here," Lucas said, cutting him off before he could finish. "She was here, she works here, she had a name tag, it said Dr Skye Tate."

"Dr Skye Tate?" Jim questioned. Lucas nodded enthusiastically. "That's impossible. There's no one here with that name. Sometimes when we come up with imaginary friends they can seem real to us and we believe that they are there when they're really not. It's easy to get confused. But you need to understand. She's not real. It's all in your head."

"No!" Lucas yelled, trying to stand up but being held back by the handcuffs. "She's real. She loves me. She's real. She loves me."

Jim nodded at the two men who stood by the door. They walked over to Lucas, taking a hold of his arms. Lucas fought against them, struggling to free himself from their grip. He kicked at them, nearly knocking them over but instead sending his chair to the ground with him still in it. He continued shouting the same two phrases over and over again, hoping that if he kept repeating it then Jim would know it was true. Soon his shouting turned to mumbling as he felt calmness surge through his veins before the blackness welcomed him back.

_Lucas felt the sting of a hand on his cheek, slapping him. He could taste blood. Lucas tried to focus his eyes but they kept drifting shut. It seemed like the room was swaying. Lucas gripped his chair, trying to steady himself but was soon assaulted with the sensation of being electrocuted. He cried out in pain, gasping for breath. He could hear voices in the background. The only one he could recognise was Jim's. He was asking him something but Lucas couldn't head what. _

"_She's real. She loves me," Lucas mumbled. The last thing Lucas saw was his father stepping in front of him before he felt intense pain, his body spasming from the electric shock. _

Then everything was white. Lucas looked around the unfamiliar room. Once again everything was white, the walls, the floor, the roof, the bed that he was bound to, the coats of the men who stood with Jim in the corner.

"We're hoping that a familiar face might help him to cope," came a voice as the door opened. Lucas looked up to see his father entering the room. Taylor looked over at Lucas and Lucas could instantly see the blame in his eyes. Lucas struggled against his bonds, trying to escape from his father's stare.

"It's not my fault!" Lucas yelled, trying to free himself, trying to escape. "It's not my fault!"

Everyone reacted instantly. Taylor was pushed out of the room while the men in white coats moved towards the still shouting Lucas. They closed in on him. Lucas was surrounded by white, it was all to white. He could see the men in coats coming closer. Lucas could see the logos on their coats. Terra Nova Psychiatric Hospital. Terra Nova Psychiatric Hospital. Terra Nova. Terra Nova. Terra Nova. It was everywhere, he couldn't escape. He prepared himself for the electric shock that he was sure would come as he saw Jim's face looming closer and closer yet the shock never came, instead Lucas felt calm flowing through his veins and then blackness.

_Lucas felt shock after shock assault him as he tried to focus on the wall of the brig yet his vision was clouded. He could feel blood trickling down his head, he could smell it, taste it. Lucas closed his eyes, wishing he could just escape from it all. _

So tell me Lucas, why did you try to kill your father?" Jim asked. Lucas looked around, noticing that he was back in the room with the bookshelves. "You walked into your father's bedroom in the middle of the night and stabbed him. Why?"

"No," Lucas replied slowly, confused by Jim's words. "I stabbed him in the jungle, then Skye shot me."

"You never got shot," Jim replied calmly. "Skye doesn't exist."

"She's real!" Lucas shouted.

"Ok, ok," replied Jim, raising his hands in defence. "Let's not talk about where it was and who was there. Let's talk about why."

"He blamed me," Lucas explained, his eyes widening. "He chose to save me and let them kill her. Then he blamed me."

"There was never a choice Lucas," Jim replied slowly. "Your father turned up and managed to save you but he couldn't save your mother, it was too late. There was never a choice."

"No," Lucas gasped. "He was there and they held me and they held her and they made him chose between us. He chose me and they killed her. Then he blamed me."

"There was never a choice," Jim continued, patiently explaining everything. "They held you and your mother captive. Your father arrived later and saved you but your mother was already dead. They tortured you, you watched your mother die. It's understandable that your mind came up with this delusion."

"It's not a delusion. It was real. I was there." Lucas shouted, standing up, the chair lifting up with him by the straps on his wrists. "He blamed me. It's not my fault. It's not my fault. It's not my fault."

Lucas continued to yell, repeating the same phrase over and over again as the tears began to fall. It was the first time he had cried since Somalia. He was trapped in his mind, caught between two realities, unsure which was real. One was filled with mental pain, the other with physical pain but they were beginning to fuse together, melting into on mentally and physically painful reality. Lucas wanted to escape. He needed to escape from the white and the torture it brought. He wanted the blackness. The blackness was safe. When it was black, for a few moments he was free from pain, he was nowhere, safe from his two painful realities. He felt hands on his arms.

"It's not my fault."

Then everything went black.


End file.
